Early. Soaking in epsom salt. Went to the CGAD premier party and now I'm trying to express why I'm so uncomfortable around those people. First off, I'm not interested in what I know about them. I can't really relate to where I feel they're coming from, which is a privileged AND indulgent life thus far. I'm against certain entitlements, but not others. Go figure.

Part of my discomfort is clearly aesthetic: clothes, hair, etc. The usual middle school crap. Pretty common insecurity. But isn't it more than aesthetic? I don't feel comfortable dressing like a tool. It's expensive and for what? Yet when others do, I feel inadequate. A lot of things are like that in our society. Expectations about dress and behavior. I suppose that's true in any society. Certain customs are followed somewhat blindly and without regard for their effect on the group.

And of course we have nothing to talk about. We don't find the same things funny, which is vital to making a relationship work, even if the whole thing is just one brief conversation. I think this is partly due to age differences and definitely class/education/culture (not to be confused with "cultural") differences.